A series of events pushed me into an unexpected spiritual path. I was visited by red-tailed hawks, suddenly awakened into clairvoyance, and sharply pivoted away from my church community. The faith foundation of our family life was shaken and teetering on the edge.

My husband was not on board. 

I knew I was resisting spiritual change and fighting tooth and nail to keep our family together. I worried that following my path would break us apart. I would wake up at 3 a.m. regularly, lay in bed with a side-eye look at my husband softly sleeping, and inwardly beg and plead for our family to stay together. We never spoke about what was happening –almost as if putting it into words would start a chain reaction of separation.

However, the spiritual chasm between us seemed to grow bigger by the day.

I continued waking up at 3 am. Finally, after sleepless nights one after the other, I decided there was no other decision than to let go. I stopped inwardly screaming for something to change and started saying nothing. I would hold an hour of space, silence, and stillness instead, night after night.

In turn, the silence told me 3 things. 

First, in the silence, I humbly acknowledged that I didn’t really know what was best for him and our family. Second, my good intentions were clogging up the works for Divine presence to work. Third, I had to let go of what may happen to us—the outcome. The space I held at night changed from being full to becoming spacious. It became a liminal landscape of sacred space that was absent of expectations and effort to make something happen. 

Then one day, he rolled over in bed, looked me in the eye, and said, “I can’t do this anymore…”

Fear caught in my throat as my mind jumped to the end of our marriage. Instead, his words meant something very different. They sparked a domino effect of rapid changes in our relationship—all centered around creating time and space together as we adjusted work schedules, started fixing up our home together, and shifted school priorities—that radically reoriented our family life. 

It didn’t look ‘spiritual’ on the surface. However, the same space that was part of my nighttime wakefulness started to seep into the daily life we created together. We created a spiritual bond.

Nine years later, one of the most sacred moments of our week is when we meditate together on our porch on Sunday mornings. If you asked me nine years ago if this would be a possibility, I would vehemently shake my head, ‘no.’ Spiritual connection is what holding space creates. It activates pathways of healing and transformation that may not be immediately evident on the surface. 

You don’t have to say anything. The space speaks for you.

I invite you to hold space for your spiritual relationships –spouses, children, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, neighbors, and even public figures. Here’s why now is the time for you to hold space:

• Isolation is rising; we need quality connections now more than ever.
• Family time is declining; the time we have is limited, and it needs to make a difference.
• Spirituality benefits everyone; personal pettiness can be replaced by love and purpose.

Are you tired of trying hard to change your relationships? Then start small with holding space. Not sure how to do that? I’ll be back with 3 steps in 3 days.

With love,

Annie